We're having a baby!!! - That Pencil Skirt

OUR BIG NEWS

#ThatBabyBump has arrived!

I have no words to explain the emotion I feel to finally be able to share with all of you that I’m pregnant! It is actually really strange for me to be typing those sacred words “I’M PREGNANT” instead of reading them from someone else.

“Finally” means two different things to me. Finally in the somewhat more traditional sense, I’ve known about the pregnancy for the past fifteen weeks and have had to keep it a big secret. This means having to pose in certain ways to hide my growing belly (it’s small, but it’s definitely there!), making up excuses with friends as to why I’m not drinking, or always tired, and struggling to make up meaningful content when this pregnancy is all I’ve wanted to share! And Finally in the somewhat less traditional sense in that it has taken me almost two exhausting, emotional years to get to where I am today. Although I’m sure I’ll never feel fully comfortable and confident about this pregnancy, now that I have made it into the second trimester I am finally comfortable sharing more details about my struggles with infertility as so many of you have asked. BUT- I thought it would be more fun today to share some details from my first trimester! I added a separate post with the week by week details for anyone interested!

As always, if there is anything specific you want me to discuss (from either my TTC journey or pregnancy in general,) shoot me an email at thatpencilskirt@gmail.com!

LEADING UP TO THE FIRST TRIMESTER

What do you call a victim of miscarriage? An alcoholic is suffering with alcoholism and is addicted to alcohol. After my miscarriage, I became addicted to message boards and trying to figure out why me? It became an obsession, and I I started to blame myself. I shouldn’t have eaten the gluten. I shouldn’t have complained about the estrogen pills, I shouldn’t have gone on that hike. June rolled around, and friends of mine who had spent the past three months in secrecy came out and announced their pregnancies – due in December. Although, of course, I was always happy for my friends, I couldn’t help but think this should have been me.

As you may remember from my last post on this topic, I decided to take a break from it all in July. Well actually, I was forced to take a break. My husband and I were so excited when we found out I was finally pregnant in March that we (very prematurely) booked a “babymoon” to celebrate the first trimester being over in July. Traveling really doesn’t fit within the IVF schedule, so we made the decision to pause cycling and enjoy this trip that we put so much thought and care into planning.

For anyone going through something similar, this is probably the hardest advice I will give you. When you feel like you’re breaking down (only you will know when that is) take a break. I remember a doctor suggested that to me once, and I thought she was crazy. I remember saying that time was killing me, and a break would just make everything worse. The one month break I ended up taking allowed me to restore my body (there’s no way taking all of the medication is good for you,) my energy, and allowed me to remember what its like to have carefree fun. For a brief period of time, I stopped looking at my calendar every morning to count down the days to my next appointment, I turned off all the reminders on my phone to take my medicine, I worked out, I drank alcohol, and I truly just had a good time.

I am not sharing all of this to ask anyone to feel bad for me. It’s actually the opposite. I am sharing my story to give anyone hope who is going through something similar. Whether you’ve been trying for 3 months or 3 years the process sucks, and I get it. People used to tell me “as soon as you get pregnant you’ll forget about all of this.” As excited as I am to share the next part of my story, its hard to forget what I had to go through to get there. I don’t know that I ever will, but I will say, it makes me appreciate every second of this pregnancy to the fullest.

FIRST TRIMESTER

Now that we are over the first trimester hump, excitement has fully kicked in!I am so lucky that aside from a little morning sickness, the first trimester really wasn’t so bad! It was filled with a lot of nerves, anxiety, sleep (but always at the wrong times!) and a very strange relationship with food. I wasn’t able to eat meat, fish or anything too sweet for the first three months and basically had the appetite of a five year old (french fries and grilled cheese please!) The highlight has definitely been our doctor appointments with my OBGYN (who knew doctor appointments could be so fun?) and taking a photo of our baby home with us.

BABY: is now the size of a naval orange!

BUMP: Barely, but starting! I included some pictures here!

WEIGHT: Up 4 pounds so far, woohoo!

APPS: Glow Nurture, The Bump, and WebMD pregnancy (underrated)

BOOKS: The Hot Mom to Be Handbook (thanks Mom!)

CRAVINGS: Pizza, croissants and anything fried 🙂

SYMPTOMS: Yay! Most of the nausea went away (except for a little bit after breakfast) but exhaustion is still in almost full force. Itchy everywhere (is this a weird one?) and I have very pronounced veins (?)

CLOTHES: Maternity? Not yet. Living in leggings, though (all week long.) I tried the rubber band in the jean button trick and it worked just right!

WORK OUT: Started doing SLT twice a week – very carefully – once I hit 14 weeks, but did absolutely nothing before that.

SLEEP: Out cold by 9pm and up at 5am.. and suffer from occasional insomnia

DUE: Spring 2018